If you are reading this, it is probably Thursday, February 14th, otherwise known as Valentine’s Day. Or you could be reading this literally any other day after, I’m not picky. I figured that, since it’s been a while and a day since I’ve posted anything, I would start off with the only thing I really know how to do: Write reviews. I also figured I would write a review about movies that I am inevitably going to watch: Films such as Valentine’s Day.
Valentines Day was the catalyst for future all-star cast films which would rake in the dough such as New Years Eve (2011) and Mother’s Day (2016). The film producers figured that the more celebrities people saw on the list, the more chances someone would go watch it for their fav. Here, for example, we have A-listers such as Ashton Kutchner, Anne Hathaway…Taylor Swift and Shirley Maclaine? Such a strange line-up! But, the film attempts to make it all connect and go smoothly. Because, at the end of the day, that is what this movie is: it’s a bunch of “seemingly random” couples and individuals and the events which lead them together on Valentine’s Day. It’s very cookie cutter and enjoyable, if you like mindless romance and not something tear jerky like Nicholas Sparks. I personally enjoy the silly, almost lazy humor in this film. It’s a relaxing time that I can just watch people run around and “stress out” knowing everything will be ok with a bow on top.
Be warned, spoilers ahead:
The film starts and, probably, stars Ashton Kutcher, he is a florist, who wakes up and proposes (on Valentine’s Day…of all days) to Jessica Alba his apparent long-time gf. I’m not sure how solid that relationship was, though, because no one is really surprised when she says no and leaves him. Kutcher’s bestie Jennifer Garner is a teacher and in love with Patrick Dempsey’s character. Dempsey’s character, though, turns out to be a cheating asshole and this is, of course, discovered when Garner heads over the Dempsey’s place to find that he is married…I mean, the whole thing is a mess. Of course, Garner is sad but realizes she loved Kutcher and Kutcher realizes he loves Garner and they get together by the end of the film. It is probably one of the more complicated story lines in the whole film.
The next main storyline is also kind of complicated, but the thing I love about this plot point is that the movie really wants you to believe these two have any chemistry and might end up being the next couple. The actor’s are Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts. They find themselves stuck on a plane together and kind of form an awkward friendship(?) The film’s twist comes up when you realize, or rather the film shows you, that Robert’s character is the mom of this cute little kid, Bryce Robinson. This kid has a small plotline…he basically buys flowers from Kutcher’s character to send to Garner because he is in love with his teacher. It’s cute, it’s small, and it ends rather quickly.
Meanwhile, Cooper turns out to be Eric Bana’s boyfriend. Yes, this film is so cute and progressive that it has the gay couple. Eric Bana is a gay football player who is considering coming out on the telly. His publicist is Jessica Biel and she falls for, and ends up with, Jaime Foxx. Believe me, when I tell you that is about as deep as the movie goes with these relationships.
The movie has some cute kid and teen couples: Emma Roberts and Carter Jenkins are the young couple dying to lose their virginity to one another. You have the IT teens of the 2000’s, Taylor Swift in her (terrifying) acting debut, and Taylor Lautner as high school sweethearts. Finally, you have the elder couple, Hector Elizondo (Goodness Hector, what are these powerhouse actors doing here? How much are they even getting paid?) and Shirley Maclaine, looking to reignite their love after years of marriage and choosing the perfect holiday to do so…instead of like Christmas or their anniversary…
Oh, and George Lopez is there….he just portrays the normal guy who goes home to his wife and has dinner on Valentines Day. Basically what I aspire to do…and there’s also Kathy Bates and Queen Latifah, just kinda hating on Valentine’s day.
FINALLY, because if I do not mention this I will have failed this blog post, in what is perhaps the strangest twist in this already stereotype filled film, you have Anne freaking Hathaway….dating Topher Grace….while she works as a sex phone operator. Just such a weird and almost not enough for actors of such different professional range.
The film is terrible, yes, but it is a family friendly film that you have on in the background and satisfy your sweet tooth. If you are totally done with films like The Notebook or The Time Traveler’s Wife (I, personally, cannot watch those tragic films), then don’t really hate on this incredibly shallow but fun to watch film. I guarantee that you love at least one actor in this movie, and that is exactly why it exists.
Let me know what is your favorite movie to watch on Valentines Day, if you watch any, in the comments.
-VG
Victoria.Eli.G 